what is most difficult in life?

Giving up the seat you really want even though you got 1st rank…. This post was supposed to be about something else but since I am writing it today, this has to be the first statement so that the loop of thoughts in my mind stop. These frustrating competitive exams, when you really badly want to get seat, no rank…but when you have too many things happening and not sure what next…ta da…you can have it. Let me make it very clear, I never got 1st rank in my life ever! EVER! The number never suited me! Lets just go back to what this post was originally supposed to be about!

We all appreciate people doing things for free. Education, doctors, spirituality, everything. We want it from others, but can we give it to others? The above three are very important and ideally should be free(mind you in the current state of affairs of economic situation, these are responsibilities of government and not individuals unless they want to do it out of their free will). But can I start treating people for free and live that life of brahmacharya, eating by what ever was given freely by others? That is one of the ways of spiritual ascent, the thing I want the most. But, can I? Can you give others what you are expecting from them? free passionate service? How many of us wear a smile and do what we are being paid for?

(I feel the need to deviate a bit to explain some of my terms, all I meant by spiritual ascent is moving some where closer to understanding what we are, bramhacharya is not the only way but one of the ways to go above few things, which we probably need to before we understand more things.)

Can we give up the rat race and stand aside and do what we want to do? It is so ingrained in the head that we feel that is what we really want! But is it? What I really truly want is to understand, to feel the intelligence that plays behind the life form. Shouldn’t I just leave everything now and here and do sadhana required for that? I don’t mean family by everything, that is not an obstruction to those but my job takes lot of time in a day!AAh ! That is actually a myth, If I manage time efficiently I will have time to do everything I want to do! That brings us to the next difficult thing in life…..  Doing what we want to do and not following whims of mind and mood.

The more I try, the more I realise how my mind is riding me around. I cannot make myself get up early, I really do want to. I cannot study what I really do want to study, but still I end up watching a whole series of K drama (k drama, I am realising is apparent new trend in India catching up). So many nonsensical things we cannot control about ourselves in-spite of  not wanting to do it, having something else very important waiting. People who say “may be that is not really what you want”, you are just getting an excuse to dance on the finger tips of your mind. Please remember these kinds of things in your life when you ask some one to give up their addictions. These are also addictions, more accepted addictions! Can you give up yours? Yes you can, so try it and you will realise what strength it takes.

Lets come to more simpler things. We all know very well what to eat and what not eat. What is healthy what is not. Can we eat healthy food? It is for our good, our body will really appreciate it. But we still crave chocolates, ice creams, chips. My husband makes sure I don’t get much of above three. Still I manage to satisfy my palate with things that are so called good. Being on a strict sadhana diet more than a week felt almost impossible.

We all know what is best way of living yet we will live accumulating wealth, judging others while we fail to look at ourselves, cutting down trees as it is apparently very important to have traffic free road and a huge house to live rather than oxygen, shaking and quivering to things nonsensical to life while life itself is neglected.

The most difficult things in life… to put simply are what we preach but dare not follow!